How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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