please come you make the beer taste better
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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