He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
