He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
