shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
