you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
