I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
