what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
