I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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