summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
