mondays should just be called national damage control day
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
