So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
