Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
