ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Buhtt sex?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
