Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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