Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
