So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
