talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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