Non-Jews are for practice
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
