True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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