Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
