DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
