so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
