did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
