I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
