just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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