haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
