did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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