that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
