He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize