brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
