we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
its not stalking. its research.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
