Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
