lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
"it" just moved
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
