the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
