so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
