he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
