You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
