can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
True strength comes from lack of pants
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
