I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
