I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize