I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
