k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
