He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
