Pants 0. Shit 1.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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