I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
