we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
