someone owes me an orgasm
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The air was thick with penises
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
