Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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