just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
third nipple confirmed
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize