pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
