No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
