I molested 6 butterflies tonight
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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