everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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