i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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