Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
