It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
