I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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