When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm getting married
To pizza
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
