So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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