well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
