i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
