Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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