just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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