You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
