The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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