Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
