sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize