I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
