All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
What a dumb baby whore.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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